Infant Loss

I just wanted to share my thoughts with everyone towards Infant Loss. I have suffered the from this horrible my self, my thoughts and prayers to those who have as well. One on lifes hardest moments when their whole world is taken away from them! The worst thing i have ever heard someone say during this crucial time is "It will be okay, you have another child" hmm mmm, some people will never know that, that right there is the worst thing you could ever hear in that time of need aside from you deserved it! I believe "for every death there will be life" and im hoping the death of my child brought on another beautiful blessing! 07/07/2007 is a day we will never forget and forever have an emptiness in our hearts. God bless our babies!

I Support all our Troops but only ONE keeps me WARM ♥

I Love Military related movies <3 Hurt Locker, Jarhead, Good Morning Veitnam, Stop-Loss, Forest Gump?? Im not sure if that one really counts! I saw it for the first time two weeks ago. So Veteran's Day just past and i love that we get to celebrate all the holidays now that we are military affiliated it has more meaning to us. Its always fun being apart of it all. When we go back home there wont be as much military activity as there is here at Camp Lejeune. The Vet Parade this year was the shit and golden corral's vet eat FREE day was monday and its ALWAYS packed that day. I love shopping at walmart at one AM and when its packed but when im trying to eat c'mon now :) Soon we will be home bound and will actually get to experience FOUR seasons and not just HOTT, Hotter, HUMID AS HELL, and Hott with a cool breeze! If i can go swimming all year long outdoors i dont wanna live here! Im definitely going to miss all the kick-ass people ive met while stationed here. This experience has been one heck of a ride :)

I am STRONG I am COURAGE I am SACRIFICE

Who i am is a beautiful woman who was given a chance to make a difference. The difference i made was to help others know themselves and to let them know, No one is alone. I am a mother of a little boy whose love just melts my heart, and an Angel in Heaven who protects me through the hard times.  Im also a wife to a United States Marine who i stand beside and not behind. I have my own voice and it will be heard! Im no where near perfect or even normal. I hate to shave when my husband isnt home. I dont wash my hair every single day. I did not go to college. I dont have a rock to brag about. I get angry and i cry too much, but i do have someone to hold my hand through my tears.  I do have a mother who loves who i am. I do have friends i can count on and mostly i do have a place to call home. My life began when i was 17 years old where i became a statistic for being a teen mother. My life changed in a matter of a minute and reality kicked in before i finished high school. My mother wasnt rich nor poor, but surely wasnt going to take care of the choices i made for myself. I lived on my own for a little while and knew the best thing for myself was to get the emotional support from my mother who for the most part was a single mother as well. My son was born and my priorities were clear. I was a hard working teen and new mother. i supported myself with help. I did not rely on my mother to take care of my son. I worked and provided for my own child without asking for anything. I am so thankful to have had a blessing and a wonderful mother by my side. Shortly within after giving birth, through my disgustingness i met the one i would spend the rest of my life with whom i now call my husband! Until the day we decided as a family he would join the corps i worked and provided literally as much as my husband did. We settled together and tried to extend our family not married yet but i was of age finally. Few months into my second pregnancy the worst had happened and has put an emptiness into our family for the rest of our lives. I married my now husband a couple months after our tragedy and settled in to our own home together as a family in 2007.

My husband half a year later had then joined the United States Marine Corps and was hauled off to boot camp where he would earn his title to manhood! He graduated boot camp in April of 2008 as a PVT and was sent away from home for another month leaving us behind as every armed force service member must do. I was diagnosed July 2008 with an incurable Heart Disease making the next 3 years of my life one of the hardest so far. Abnormal my resting heart rate was took on at 196 BPM and i would more than occasionally have attacks making my heart rate to reach 300+ BPM to the point of black out and unconsciousness, i was admitted and required an emergency surgery for my heart at only 19 years old where soon to follow was my first Heart attack in spring of 2009 at my husbands company Easter party. Through all of this we as a married couple had ups and downs like most and causing even bigger issues later on. Just like almost every other military wife i SACRIFICED and moved 3400 miles away from "home" to make a new home! Late 2009 my husband was injured during a Beach port OP here at camp lejeune, and was rushed to the hospital and was told he needed to have surgery, so they scheduled it and when we went in to have his procedure done the doc at the time told us what they had to do as far as that surgery. The Naval doc that did his surgery was due to deploy in a matter of two weeks or so and didnt look at my husbands chart ( we know this now) and gave him the WRONG surgery which odds of this ever happening were only a matter of time and because of that he now needs a whole new major surgery to un do what the doc has done. They have to break his femur and he will lose his ability to walk, and will no long be able to perform his duty as a marine. This will take rehab so he can learn how to walk all over again. He will lose all muscle in his leg and will be labeled disabled. My husband is being Honorably discharged and medically retired. This isnt a joke to us, this was my husbands career ruined to no fault of his own and we together as a family have to pay for it.  Yes my husband is obviously on a  non deployable status. My husband gets talked down to by others all the time and called things you couldnt even imagine because of a story they dont even know. "Never judge a book by its cover" means to never assume you know whats going on as well. People cant even begin to imagine what we have been through for the corps just to come out with nothing but a wheelchair. My husband doesnt deserve less respect because he wasnt injured in combat. My husband IS and will always remain a Marine and deserves the same amount of respect as your husband.


I have created a Deployment site on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/deardeploymentsuckit to help those in ANY situation know that there will always be support no matter what they have or will go through. Dear Deployment suck it is just a name, it is the people behind it i want you to see! Please take the time to get to know someone before your take it upon yourself to attempt to tear them down! I deserve this page not because my husband deploys or doesnt deploy but because i am willing to put my self out there to help YOU! I am STRONG. I am COURAGE. I am SACRIFICE.